This is a very intriguing concept and anecdote Vicky. I resonate with the kodawari concept, the uniqueness of doing things in a particular way, and how that authenticity leads to success. But I need help with the "effortless" part of the equation. What makes a sacrifice effortless? The word sacrifice in and of itself implies giving up something that matters in order to obtain something that matters more, so where does the effortlessness come in? In the absence of making a stretch, there's no longer a sacrifice occurring. This has me very curious and I'd love to understand it more thoroughly. Eric Ho would love this conversation since he's always talking about effortless leadership, and I'm also asking him for similar clarification. As someone who is always making things harder than they need to be to justify my existence I really want to apprentice to effortlessness, but I need help.
Love the focus on effortless Rick - your question helped me see effortless sacrifice in a different light!
For me sacrifice can be effortless because a sacrifice isn't always as dramatic and painful as we assume it to be. The basis for this is in a Chinese concept called 舍得 which means "willing to give up". The twist (again the translation doesn't capture) is the first half of the word is "let go", but the second half is "gain". And my parents would drill this in me over and over - when you give something up, you get something back in return. You have to make space for what you want.
And to me that's why kodawari is effortless. There is calm confidence that by letting go of something, you get something better back in return.
Thank you Vicky. That's helps me better understand the flavor of this. I actually have an experience of this, now that you describe it this way. It's like happily going to bed early instead of heading out to party, knowing how bright you're going to feel when you get up early the next day and attend to your purpose or craft.
Great point. My hunch, as a total newbie to this concept, is that kodawari implies a sacrifice of what could be, rather than what is. The restaurant owner is sacrificing the potential for future growth, not shrinking is existing business. Presumably this means that the money which comes from effortless sacrifice can only do so as a result of increasing the value of the core product, an increase which is enabled by having fewer distractions in other possible directions (ie those that have been sacrificed).
Reminds me of Jaguar Land Rover "right-sizing" itself in the last couple of years – i.e. scrapping product lines and pulling the plug on huge investment programs, downsizing its scope after a complicated period (under a different CEO) spent trying to rival the German carmakers at their own game.
Thanks Theo. Good thoughts. I like the distinction between sacrificing what could be vs what already is. But if you're a visionary or a dreamer, that's still not effortless!
A valuable addition to my day! I have been feeling it, being a perfectionist myself, but I knew there was something more to the way I operate. And there it is. Kodawari. Thank you Vicky for sharing this! 🙏✨️
I'd love for you to make a series on "romanticizing Japan in the right way". I remember about your masterful way of expressing your journey/relationship with Japan, and found it so insightful. On my end, I do think that after going through the romantic part, I could see things in a more nuanced way, admiring the positive, and also realizing the downsides of the culture. Didn't get to that last level you described as both understanding deeply and accepting the downsides, while still admiring and enjoying the uniqueness of the place.
Anyway, reading this brought so many great memories, as you perfectly convey this unique Japanese vibe with your writing.
As for kodawari, how interesting! I interpret it as sacrificing the good for the great, stemming from a deep believe in some true to yourself (that might not be for others), and that makes it effortless.
Lots to ponder, especially where are those places and beliefs in my life that I should hold on to, no matter what, and mostly with a "methodic, calm and atarimae matter of fact approach".
And our conversations about what and why parts of our experiences in Japan mattered to us personally really inspired me to write about this Oscar! I want to do this with more cultures and experiences so let me think on that series XD
I asked myself the same question - what do I hold on to with that matter of fact approach?! No immediate answers but I'll know when I know
Happy to hear that Vicky! :) Ohh and doing that with more cultures would be awesome! I'm down to help with Mexico's one, either for Day of the Dead, or the elusive concept of "ahorita". Hope you come visit soon.
As for the question, no immediate answers here either but definitely still thinking about it myself!
And our conversations about what and why parts of our experiences in Japan mattered to us personally really inspired me to write about this Oscar! I want to do this with more cultures and experiences so let me think on that series XD
I asked myself the same question - what do I hold on to with that matter of fact approach?! No immediate answers but I'll know when I know
Right back at you Silvio! Your writing has been on my mind when I was putting this piece off... just gotta keep being uniquely scarce and live with the consequences haha! Thanks for reading :)
Feel you on the eye-rolling when it comes to facile takes on Japan. I guess we've all been there to a degree. Damn good branding and soft power. But living here, as you know, is a whole other kettle of fish!
This is a really thought-provoking piece. Thank you for the introduction to kodawari.
Your frustration at Japanophiles echoes my feeling towards English people waxing lyrical about the beauty of Scotland – something I've felt since I was about 10. (I'm an awkward Anglo-Scottish hybrid myself.) Partly I was being childish possessive.
But in adult life my frustration is more towards the international appetite for a commoditised version of Scotland (reminding me of some of the sacrifices you mention). Also the strange kind of possessiveness that the UK – the English in particular – feels towards it. An independent Scotland, no longer part of the UK, would theoretically be economically unviable, so the English argument in favour of the Union seems more emotional than logical. That emotion towards Scotland doesn't feel entirely healthy to me.
!!!! Your point of possessiveness is so on point and something I've been trying to write about but have yet to articulate. What is really in this whirlpool that's created from a sense of ownership from all directions? I'll work on it
What an interesting concept! Could you share an example of what kodawari might look like in your everyday life. The resentment you feel when people comment on the superficial beauty of b Japan is intriguing. I find myself in reverse mode where I find myself annoyed when people complain about potholes or free medical in NZ not being good enough, like they need to get some perspective. It seems to me you also hope they got perspective but in a different way which is curious
I've got some kodawaris around my puppy crate training haha
And regarding those irritations, they say a trait that bothers me is a trait I have. And I definitely know I romanticize about other ways of being and doing. Guess I'll have to do more writing!
When I read this, I immediately thought of Jiro, whom I saw in the "3-Star" documentary on Netflix many years ago. Jiro's sushi restaurant looked so small, a bit claustrophobic to me. Now that I've read this post about kodawari, it makes so much sense as to why it is such a small restaurant. Focusing only on what makes sense and matters to the quality of the thing (sushi in this case) is crucial, and therefore the sushi is top-notch. No wonder Hiroyuki has been a 3-star Michelin chef for so long!
This is a very intriguing concept and anecdote Vicky. I resonate with the kodawari concept, the uniqueness of doing things in a particular way, and how that authenticity leads to success. But I need help with the "effortless" part of the equation. What makes a sacrifice effortless? The word sacrifice in and of itself implies giving up something that matters in order to obtain something that matters more, so where does the effortlessness come in? In the absence of making a stretch, there's no longer a sacrifice occurring. This has me very curious and I'd love to understand it more thoroughly. Eric Ho would love this conversation since he's always talking about effortless leadership, and I'm also asking him for similar clarification. As someone who is always making things harder than they need to be to justify my existence I really want to apprentice to effortlessness, but I need help.
Love the focus on effortless Rick - your question helped me see effortless sacrifice in a different light!
For me sacrifice can be effortless because a sacrifice isn't always as dramatic and painful as we assume it to be. The basis for this is in a Chinese concept called 舍得 which means "willing to give up". The twist (again the translation doesn't capture) is the first half of the word is "let go", but the second half is "gain". And my parents would drill this in me over and over - when you give something up, you get something back in return. You have to make space for what you want.
And to me that's why kodawari is effortless. There is calm confidence that by letting go of something, you get something better back in return.
Thank you Vicky. That's helps me better understand the flavor of this. I actually have an experience of this, now that you describe it this way. It's like happily going to bed early instead of heading out to party, knowing how bright you're going to feel when you get up early the next day and attend to your purpose or craft.
A feel good analogy!! Just felt this the other day when friends were pressuring me haha
Great point. My hunch, as a total newbie to this concept, is that kodawari implies a sacrifice of what could be, rather than what is. The restaurant owner is sacrificing the potential for future growth, not shrinking is existing business. Presumably this means that the money which comes from effortless sacrifice can only do so as a result of increasing the value of the core product, an increase which is enabled by having fewer distractions in other possible directions (ie those that have been sacrificed).
Reminds me of Jaguar Land Rover "right-sizing" itself in the last couple of years – i.e. scrapping product lines and pulling the plug on huge investment programs, downsizing its scope after a complicated period (under a different CEO) spent trying to rival the German carmakers at their own game.
Ohhh what a great way to put it - what could be vs what is. That's the core of being matter of fact
Thanks Theo. Good thoughts. I like the distinction between sacrificing what could be vs what already is. But if you're a visionary or a dreamer, that's still not effortless!
A valuable addition to my day! I have been feeling it, being a perfectionist myself, but I knew there was something more to the way I operate. And there it is. Kodawari. Thank you Vicky for sharing this! 🙏✨️
Ahhh that beautiful moment when we can put a word to the feeling :)
I'd love for you to make a series on "romanticizing Japan in the right way". I remember about your masterful way of expressing your journey/relationship with Japan, and found it so insightful. On my end, I do think that after going through the romantic part, I could see things in a more nuanced way, admiring the positive, and also realizing the downsides of the culture. Didn't get to that last level you described as both understanding deeply and accepting the downsides, while still admiring and enjoying the uniqueness of the place.
Anyway, reading this brought so many great memories, as you perfectly convey this unique Japanese vibe with your writing.
As for kodawari, how interesting! I interpret it as sacrificing the good for the great, stemming from a deep believe in some true to yourself (that might not be for others), and that makes it effortless.
Lots to ponder, especially where are those places and beliefs in my life that I should hold on to, no matter what, and mostly with a "methodic, calm and atarimae matter of fact approach".
Great concept that you've shared!
And our conversations about what and why parts of our experiences in Japan mattered to us personally really inspired me to write about this Oscar! I want to do this with more cultures and experiences so let me think on that series XD
I asked myself the same question - what do I hold on to with that matter of fact approach?! No immediate answers but I'll know when I know
Happy to hear that Vicky! :) Ohh and doing that with more cultures would be awesome! I'm down to help with Mexico's one, either for Day of the Dead, or the elusive concept of "ahorita". Hope you come visit soon.
As for the question, no immediate answers here either but definitely still thinking about it myself!
And our conversations about what and why parts of our experiences in Japan mattered to us personally really inspired me to write about this Oscar! I want to do this with more cultures and experiences so let me think on that series XD
I asked myself the same question - what do I hold on to with that matter of fact approach?! No immediate answers but I'll know when I know
Vicky! Great to see you back. Loved this piece. The idea of effortless sacrifice just blew my mind. Please keep being so uniquely scarce! Ciao.
Right back at you Silvio! Your writing has been on my mind when I was putting this piece off... just gotta keep being uniquely scarce and live with the consequences haha! Thanks for reading :)
Feel you on the eye-rolling when it comes to facile takes on Japan. I guess we've all been there to a degree. Damn good branding and soft power. But living here, as you know, is a whole other kettle of fish!
Haha you know it! That branding is not to be underestimated ... I should figure out their formula and use it for my business
This is a really thought-provoking piece. Thank you for the introduction to kodawari.
Your frustration at Japanophiles echoes my feeling towards English people waxing lyrical about the beauty of Scotland – something I've felt since I was about 10. (I'm an awkward Anglo-Scottish hybrid myself.) Partly I was being childish possessive.
But in adult life my frustration is more towards the international appetite for a commoditised version of Scotland (reminding me of some of the sacrifices you mention). Also the strange kind of possessiveness that the UK – the English in particular – feels towards it. An independent Scotland, no longer part of the UK, would theoretically be economically unviable, so the English argument in favour of the Union seems more emotional than logical. That emotion towards Scotland doesn't feel entirely healthy to me.
!!!! Your point of possessiveness is so on point and something I've been trying to write about but have yet to articulate. What is really in this whirlpool that's created from a sense of ownership from all directions? I'll work on it
What an interesting concept! Could you share an example of what kodawari might look like in your everyday life. The resentment you feel when people comment on the superficial beauty of b Japan is intriguing. I find myself in reverse mode where I find myself annoyed when people complain about potholes or free medical in NZ not being good enough, like they need to get some perspective. It seems to me you also hope they got perspective but in a different way which is curious
I've got some kodawaris around my puppy crate training haha
And regarding those irritations, they say a trait that bothers me is a trait I have. And I definitely know I romanticize about other ways of being and doing. Guess I'll have to do more writing!
Appreciate you diving into the intricate details of what’s it’s like to live in Japan. I’m actually visiting next month and would love to meet up!
I’m still learning about the culture and am fascinated about the history Japan has. Still so much to learn!
Oh awesome!! Let me know when you're here - I'm out during the first half but if timing works let's meet up!
oh no way! I'll be there feb 1 -14, so just missing you 😆
Oh actually I don’t leave until the 3rd!! If you’re in Tokyo let’s catch up! DM me on Twitter :)
Yay! Would love to! & is there another way to link? I’m not able to message on twitter since I’m not verified. How about circle?
messaged!
I'm new in your newsletter and love it. Thanks for sharing!
Welcome Monse :) see you around then!
When I read this, I immediately thought of Jiro, whom I saw in the "3-Star" documentary on Netflix many years ago. Jiro's sushi restaurant looked so small, a bit claustrophobic to me. Now that I've read this post about kodawari, it makes so much sense as to why it is such a small restaurant. Focusing only on what makes sense and matters to the quality of the thing (sushi in this case) is crucial, and therefore the sushi is top-notch. No wonder Hiroyuki has been a 3-star Michelin chef for so long!
It's so tempting to always scale UP, but we rarely ask ourselves what we can sacrifice to keep our current scale of output.
Sounds like such a scary question but it is what it is.... something's gotta give sometime!