we need more real prefectionists

the intersection of Heidegger's care, Japanese kodawari, and my new found existential crisis

Hello intersectional thinkers 👋

Greetings from the air as I finally approached the last stretch of the 12 hour+ flight from Houston to Haneda.

I was looking for some lighthearted entertainment to go with my inflight breakfast set when I flicked to a documentary on the workflow of manga artists.

Little did I know I would later deboard this Dreamliner with a 180 degree change in my attitude towards perfectionism. (and find myself at the intersection of Heidegger's care, Japanese kodawari, and a new found existential crisis... see below for details.)

The unexpected intersection that made me question life

The documentary was jarring to watch at first.

The manga artists slouch over their hand drawn pencil sketches in non-ergonomic chairs, erasing and redoing small details, fussing over how a line, a curve should be drawn.

One of the featured artists Kannon Aya (creator of the popular series Requiem of the Rose King) matter-of-factly showed how she would flip her drawing paper over to draw her characters twice - once on the front of the paper, once on the back.

This way she can check the balance of the face to make sure the subtle (and I mean pretty-much-invisible-to-the-untrained-human-eyes subtle) symmetry is in tact.

And if the character faces a way that she finds harder to draw, she can get the facial feature balance just right by tracing on the back of the page to making fine (and I mean fiiiiiiine) adjustments.

Can you even tell which one is the “bad” side?

Quelle horreur!

Why double your work when you can use digital tools that are built to fix these imperfections quickly?

Well it gets worse when the camera cuts to Taketomi Kenji (creator of the Ancient Warrior Haniwatts). "I still do screentone by hand because you just don't have the same type of expressiveness and precision with digital tools."

...what?!

So you'd rather take 10x the time to add some dots and dashes to the background of one single manga frame on the page?

I was appalled.

Maybe even a little offended.

Because with a pragmatic and productive "use the time you have to do what you can" kinda attitude, I know attaining "perfection" is impossible.

Instead of pretending I am so great I can create something perfect, why not focus on what matters, and actually get things done?

But these "perfectionists" have been getting things done. For decades.

Kannon has been putting out Requiem of the Rose King every month for 9 years. Taketomi has been drawing hit mangas since 1997...

I've misunderstood perfectionism.

The myth about perfectionists paralysed by their strive for excellence is BS.

Quite the opposite, true perfectionists know their deadlines, they pour their everything into their craft, right up to the last second. And then, knowing this is not their last, they collect their heart and soul and pour them into the next creation.

The perfectionism we are told to scoff at is fake.
It's more procrastination in the name of perfection.
Hiding behind something that doesn't exist, emperor's new clothes style.

But true perfectionists, those who are humble yet ambitious, those who know perfection is unattainable, but tries anyway.
They are seriously, purposefully engaging with life.

They have what Heidegger calls sorge (care). A type of care that comes from making deliberate and meaningful choices for yourself that do not conform with societal expectations.

Choice likes drawing a character twice.
Doing screentone by hand.
Having only 18 seats at your 3 star Michelin restaurant for 15 years because the most delicious fish size can serve no more than 18. (If you like the sound of that, check out the Japanese concept kodawari - a topic I cover here.)

Choices that come from sorge might not make sense to others, but you would be cheating yourself if you chose otherwise.

Care before reason.

“Heidegger’s great achievement in Being and Time is to have demonstrated that care is prior to reason — that homo cura is more fundamental than the animale rationale.”
- Steven Crowell, Subjectivity: Locating the First-Person in Being and Time

So where does this leave the non-perfectionists?

Or at least, where does that leave me?! A proud non-perfectionist, reason before reason, getting things done kinda gal?

I gotta ask myself honestly:

"Do I care?"
"Do I care enough to put care before reason?"
"To be honest with myself and make decisions that are true to who I am?"
"Do my choices matter to me?"

Because if the choices don't matter, I'm probably making the wrong choices... (argh just when I thought I got some bits of life figured out...)

The essence of Heidegger's sorge is rooted in its authenticity. Its honesty with one self. Authenticity comes from recognizing and living between your potential and your limitations.

True perfectionists maybe the poster child of self help - seeking to work with limitations, expand potentials, and seriously live life.

So today, my new goal in life is to be a perfectionist. A real one!

Have a perfect week,

Vicky