New Year New You?

Hello intersectional thinkers 👋

Greetings from Mayne Island, where we got stranded due to strong winds and choppy seas for the new year.

Maybe the old me would’ve read too much into this ominous start to the year. But, new year new me. Unfussed is my word for 2022.

Unfussed in Chinese - literal meaning: not alarmed by great waves. How timely.

This got me thinking, can I change who I am just like that?

James Clear says embracing a new identity is how you achieve lasting habitual changes. If you want to read more, don’t make your resolution: “Read more”. Make it “Become a reader.” Reading more is a chore. But reading more as a reader is just second nature.

But surely, our identity, the core of who we are, can’t be so easily manipulated? Aren’t we taught to hold our identity sacred? Don’t change who you are, you’re beautiful regardless?

What is in an identity anyway?

If you know me, you know I love to consult the ancient wisdom of our words. The word identity traces back to the Latin word idem, which means same.

Not unique. Not special snowflake. Idem meant same.

Then the idea evolved ever-so-slightly in the late 16th century to mean sameness, oneness, the quality of being identical.

Not quite the quality we attribute to our identity today.

Unless we’re talking about social categories, like ethnicity, citizenship, gender, where we belong to a specific group of people who share that same characteristic.

So, while we carelessly throw around the idea of identity, the word actually has two contradicting meanings in modern language.

1. Social identity

We derive our identity from the social groups we belong to. Each group takes on some prescribed characteristics. By belong to that group, we experience oneness. Canadians are nice. Females are sensitive. Asians are good at math. Whether these apply to each individual is irrelevant at this point. It’s more about the overarching brand than the individual. If you’re lucky to get a good brand – like Canadians are nice, you put a Canadian flag on your backpack when you go travelling. Because others around the world will recognize the Canada brand, and strike up a conversation with you about how nice you are and how they love maple syrup.

From the Globe and Mail… a bit embarassing to hear that we are the only people who wear our own flag…

This social identity, oneness, makes up a large part of who we are. Most of us take pride in where we come from, what we believe in, how we look.

But some of us have a more complex relationship with these simple identities. For example, I’m Chinese Canadian with Korean ancestry, living in Japan. What does that make me?

I was told by a friend to just go with what my passport says. Afterall, your ID should identify who you are, right? Mine is Canadian. So I guess all the other parts of me are secondary?

Lucky for us modern beings with identity crises, there is another chance to express who (we think) we are.

2. Personal Identity

This is where the rebellion happens. I may be a female Asian Canadian, but I don’t have to be sensitive, nice, and good at math. I can make my own intersections. Because I am a special snowflake. And you are one too.

Personal identity is more nuanced than social identity. By belonging, we see how we stand out. Or how we want to stand out. Or don’t want to stand out.

Each choice you make is a building block to your personal identity.

So can we change our identity easily?

Intuitively, it’s hard. Because we talk about identity in the singular.

We don’t make the distinction between social and personal identities. So, it’s hard to change who we are when we think we only have one precious identity. If you change something, the whole thing is overhauled.

But thankfully, our identity is layered. There are characteristics from nature, others from nurture. There is oneness and uniqueness all wrapped in one.

Just like Twitter profiles, you can be a father, swimmer, social media strategist, and dog parent all at the same time.

Just like polymaths, being a physicist doesn’t exclude you from being an artist, musician, and dog parent all at the same time.

So, new year new you. Who are you in 2022?

Vicky